With all of the tension on social media about race, you may be wondering, “How in the world do I talk to my child about this conversation?” You may have a different opinion than your child, you may have never had a conversation with them about what they hear and see, and you may not know where to begin.
The reality is, if your kids are having conversations about world issues, you have an incredible opportunity to not only offer your advice and perspective, but to use conversations like these to build a bridge between you and your child.
We want to give you three questions that you could ask your child that might help them exercise their empathy and bring you to a place where you can connect with them over what they have witnessed either at school or on social media.
These questions stem off of a great message on race from our Senior Pastor, Jeff Manion. If you have not seen the message, you can watch it below:
Question 1 – Look back - What have you seen others experience?
Asking your child what they have interpreted on social media, television, or in their schools will not only validate their voice on important issues, but will also help you as a parent better understand your child’s world.
Additional questions to ask
What have you seen online as it relates to race recently?
Have you witnessed someone be mistreated because of their skin color?
Have you seen someone defend a minority when they were being mistreated?
Have you been in a situation where you felt like you wanted to correct someone who was being racist?
Question 2 – Lean in – How do you think others have felt who have been treated unfairly?
We tend to avoid and suppress feelings of discomfort. It feels easier to neglect feelings of helplessness, anger, or sadness than it is to deal honestly with them. However, asking your child, not just about what others have experienced, but also how they may have felt will stretch their empathy and help them think more deeply about injustice.
Additional questions to ask
What have you seen in the experience of others that makes you sad?
What have you seen in the experience of others that makes you angry?
What have you seen in the world that gives you hope?
Question 3 – Love Well -- How could we love others well as followers of Jesus?
Love for all people is not a human idea, it is the heart of God. Asking your child what he or she feels like we should do as followers of Jesus connects the activity of everyday justice to the love and life of Jesus. Our students need regular reminders that Jesus is not just a part of their life, but that He is their life. Connecting our behaviors to the model of Christ leads with the assumption, “Our faith in Jesus impacts how we love those who do not look like us.” which is leading by example!
Additional questions to ask
Is there a story about Jesus that relates to what we are experiencing as a country?
Is there a Bible passage or verse that we can remind each other of as a family?
What do we know about God’s character that helps us as we figure out how to love others?
(If your child responds to any of these with, “I don’t know..” you can empower them to do research online and share when they find something that sticks out to them)
We know that engaging and growing together through tough conversations is a long process, but I hope this provides you with a good place to either begin or continue necessary dialogue. We as a team are here for you as you walk with your child, asking questions and
sharing your story with them. I pray that God gives them courage to share from their experience and that He gives you the wisdom and the ability to love your kids by listening to them. We hope these questions are helpful to you and lead you and your student to growing more like Jesus.