How To: Discipline

 

Need some help directing your students? 

Do you not know exactly how to redirect your students or lay down the law during Small Group time? We are here to help! Whether you are in middle or high school, your students may need a reminder that you are their leader and there are rules at Lifeline. 

Set Expectations in Small Group

Set small group expectations early on and continue to reinforce them in group, and with the help of staff and coaches. This can look like developing a Small Group Covenant together with your group! 

  • Step 1: Propose that you make some agreements about what is expected during small group time together. 

  • Step 2: Brainstorm some ideas with your group. Use a big piece of paper or journal to write or have a student write out the ideas as your group brainstorms. 

  • Step 3: You start with some examples like, “when someone else is talking, everyone else is quiet.” (Other examples include: Not naming names/gossiping, be kind to those in the room, we always end in prayer etc.)

  • Step 4: At the beginning of small group, remind them of the covenant by highlighting it, or asking students to share some key points of the covenant. 



A Few Tools

The Three R’s

The three R’s is a device that hopefully is easy to remember so you can use them all in the moment! These will go in order, so you start with the first one and work your way down if need be. 

  1. Request. Ask the student to stop behavior they are doing. Be specific. 

    1. I.e. “Stop poking your friend next to you and being distracting during the teaching.”

  2. Reseat. Reseat someone so that the student or students are physically not where the distraction is.

    1. Ie. Get up and go place yourself in between two students who won’t stop talking. 

  3. Remove. Remove a student from the distraction or area. This could mean you ask them to step out of small group, or walk them out of large group, or as a Staff/Coach to assist. This could feel dramatic or mean, but your small group will be better for it. And then you can have a constructive conversation with that student.

    1. I.e.in small group “Anna, I’ve asked you to stop running around and being distracting, please go step into the hallway and I’ll be out in a minute.” or

    2. I.e in large group. “Come with me, Alex. We are going to go have a little talk.”

Helpful hint: You can use these rules on any student, not just your own. This is helpful especially during large group when we are all together! If you do call out another student, be sure to follow up kindly with their leader.

1,2,3 Rule

The 1, 2, 3 rule is kind of like when you were in trouble and your parents counted to three. This is to give students an expectation of how many times you will ask them to do something, or stop doing something, all leading up to parent involvement. This rule works for bigger behavior issues that you notice and is a consistent distraction in small group. 


  1. The first request: This is where you set the rules. 

    1. I.e. “I’m going to ask you to stop drawing on the DV whiteboards. If I have to talk to you a second time about this, I’m going to ask you to leave small group. If you do it again, I am calling your parents.” 

  2. The second request. You proceed with action. This would also be a good time to get Staff/Coach involved so they know and are aware in case you get to step 3! 

    1. I.e. “ Trevor, I told you what was going to happen if you drew on those again. Please step outside the room and go into the hallway.”

  3. You tell students that you are going to proceed in talking with their parent(s). Tell a Staff/Coach.

    1. I.e. “Trevor, you knew what was going to happen, I’ll be talking to your parents.”


An unexpected opportunity:
If a student is being continually REQUESTED or REMOVED from things, this could be a good time to ask a Staff/Coach to help. There are plenty of times that reaching out to a students’ parents is good and helpful. There may be things we don’t know that are happening, and getting some assistance from parents, or letting them know what is going on can be a helpful bridge to build! Reach out, and we can help walk you through reaching out to parents, or step in to do that for you.


The End Goal

Our goal is not to babysit, but to ground students’ identity in Christ. If students have the opportunity to listen and respect each other, we can accomplish this goal better! 


THANK YOU for stepping into these tricky or more difficult conversations. They are not necessarily fun for anyone, but will help your group grow!

 
LeadersAl Shepard