Thoughts on Prayer | moving from a mindset of "should" to a desire
As we enter a new year, I think it is pretty natural to come in with hopes that 2021 will look slightly different in comparison to 2020. We might come into the year with a list of hopes, dreams, and expectations. If you are anything like me, you might find yourself making a lofty list of goals for the year, but by the end of January, you have only been somewhat successful in one or two of those endeavors.
Whether these are fitness goals, relational goals, or spiritual goals, I always feel convicted each year to pray more. Sounds crazy right? Can you relate? Maybe you set an alarm on your phone and when it goes off, you take a second to pray. Or maybe you commit to journaling your prayers once a day, or praying while going on a walk.
But as the month progresses and the busier I get—I begin to fall short of my prayer intentions. When I miss a day or two of a new diet or skip a workout, I simply shrug it off—but when I am forgetful or not making any progress in a spiritual goal, I feel terrible. Somehow, I feel like I am letting God down in a commitment I made to him, and then a word creeps into my vocabulary, a word that we all know and probably use every day:
Should.
“I should pray more…”
“I should read my Bible more…”
“I should listen to more Christian music…”
“I should be a better person…”
This word inherently is not a bad word. But countless times I find myself associating the word “should” with feelings of guilt. When I use this word, I feel guilty about the place where I am; my motivation is not out of love for God, but out of shame and that I owe it to Him to be better.
I think this word comes so naturally to our lips because God created us to grow and change. We desire to be “better”, but sometimes our motivation is not in the right place. What’s beautiful about God is that He simply wants us. He meets us exactly where we are at. He doesn’t meet us once we have reached our prayer or fitness goals, but he is with us in the middle of it. He sees us in our progress and when we fall short. He knows us, loves us, and wants to commune with us.
When I remember the Gospel, that Jesus came to be with us, serve us, die for us, and conquer death in our place—I am reminded that there is nothing I can do to make God love me more. Even if I religiously prayed every hour of the day, God wouldn’t love me any more or less than he does in this moment right now.
And that brings me a sigh of relief.
When I come to God in prayer and remind myself of the truth of the Gospel, my motivation changes. It changes from “I should be a better Christian and pray more” to “I want to talk to God because he loves me”. When I focus on the sacrifice Christ made for us in order to have eternal access to God, it moves me to want to talk with my Creator and Savior. My “shoulds” turn into desires.
Sometimes it can be hard to get the ball rolling in prayer. Here are a few things that I do to help me get started on days when I don’t seem to have the words:
Write down one sentence: I’m not a big fan of journaling, but sometimes if I simply write down one or two sentences at the start of my prayer, it helps me get focused.
Pray scripture: Open to the book of Psalms and read declarations of God. Sometimes I write out a verse in my own words or say these verses about God back to God.
Remember who you are talking to: Pondering attributes of God helps me get in the right posture of prayer. Read a verse that talks about a characteristic of God and meditate on that. After all, when we pray, we are talking to the CREATOR of the UNIVERSE!
“In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.” – Ephesians 3:12
My prayer for you is that as you face this year and the ups and down it will bring, you will come to the feet of our Savior in prayer with confidence in his unshakable love for you.
About the author:
Rachel Stevens
Rachel Stevens is a second year Lifeline Resident at the Cascade Campus.